ANGER

WHAT KIND OF FEELING IS IT?

HOW CAN YOU CONTROL AND MANAGE ANGER?

Anger is one of the basic, primitive, defensive, evolutionary, and reflex animal emotions that is instantly generated by our primitive limbic (reptile) brain. It completely devoid thinking and higher mental faculties. When we feel threatened, insulted, or belittled, it is automatically generated to defend ourselves and to fight back.

Anger is an extreme and very contagious energy that is manifested with sudden output of adrenalin discharge, a rapid heart rate, muscle tension, fixed gaze, flushing of the face and screaming. It is a part of evolutionary defensive survival reflex of “fight or flight” reaction. Since anger completely devoids thinking and reasoning, if it is allowed to explode, it will seize the mind and the body and it will regretfully, hurt the angry person, and all the people around them who are just standing there.

Anger is also known as rage or wrath, is getting mad or having a temper tantrum. It is always triggered towards someone or something, when we feel that we were deliberately antagonized or they have done deliberately wrong, or our individual needs and wants are deliberately neglected.

Two basic questions must be asked about anger: 

(1) Why can some people easily shrug off any annoyances, remain calm and composed?

(2) Why do others immediately explode in rage?

One model of uncontrollable anger, put forth by psychologist called “posits anger” that results from a combination of triggering factors, personality characteristics (like narcissism, low tolerance to frustration, competitiveness) and pre–anger mood a person in, and most importantly the cognitive appraisal of the situation as unjustified, wrong and deliberate.

To me, and as I see it, anger is a basic and necessary feeling, just like happiness, sadness, nervousness. But just standing there and receiving anybody’s anger is not easy. Anger and related emotions should be controlled and even better, angry energy should be turned into positive energy so solve other problems in life.

It is interesting to note that the Muslim religion has a ruling about anger. It is considered an evil whisperer of Sheitan (the devil) that tries to hurt you and people around you. The best way to control your anger and to get rid of Sheitan is to recite prayers from the holy book Quran when you are angry, and Sheitan runs away.

To control any primitive reflex emotions like anger, we must learn to control our emotions, not to get drowned in them, and to make it a habit to ask for help of our higher mental faculties. These are in the neocortex, so that we can calm down, think and reason, and to try to solve our problems not with angry temper tantrums but with civilized reasoning. This takes time, experience, and maturity.