WHILE ON EDGE BECAUSE OF THE COVID – 19 PANDEMIC
WHAT TO DO TO AVOID THE SMALL BECOMING THE UNSURMOUNTABLE?
“If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him like a shadow that never leaves him.” – The Buddha
We all know from our personal experience, especially when we are in bad mood or tense that we could act irrationally and turn little things into insurmountable problems. A small thing becomes the last straw that broke the camel’s back. We all of sudden become emotional, start screaming, shouting, accusing others and sometimes even start crying.
Because of my upbringing and profession, I am usually in control of my emotions. I grew up in a small Circassian village in Eastern Anatolia, with Circassian culture and traditions. My father often used to say that “a real Circassian man should never express anger, frustration, fear or weakness and we must learn to stay calm under any circumstances.” His advice must have been ingrained in me because I never blow a fuse. But on very rare occasions, it happens to me too.
I vividly remember many years ago, during may medical practice years, I was a consulting Gastroenterologist on an elderly diabetic woman with chronic diarrhea. Actually she didn’t have diarrhea but had muddy discharge from her rectum because of severe constipation and stool impaction. So I manually disimpacted her, stopped anti-diarrhea medications and ordered tap water enemas and oral laxatives for her. The next day, her daughter confronted me and said “what kind of a doctor are you, my mother is having diarrhea, you are ordering an enema?” I was not in a good mood that day. I became very angry and felt that she was insulting me and my profession. I shouted at told her that she didn’t know what she was talking about and left the room in anger.
Thinking back, on the surface, I can understand why she thought she was right. Because she was a lay person and didn’t know any medicine, she couldn’t have known what I do. If I could have kept my cool in the situation and remembered my father’s advice, I could have tried to simply explain what was wrong with her mother, and everything could have been fine.
Now today, because of the unknowns of the deadly coronavirus pandemic, we all feel very tense and edgy. Every little thing starts to get to us. We are ready either to fall into despair or explode in rage. When we feel this way, emotions take over our mind and our body. Instead of rational thinking, we act with our primitive spinal reflexes. The only way to get out of this terrible situation is to use our willpower to calm our body and our mind. Here is what we should do:
Take a Buddhist’s approach. Stop everything at that moment and take a couple of deep and slow diaphragmatic breaths. Inhale slow and deep through our nose, feeling our diaphragm contract and move downward. Hold. And then exhale slowly through our mouth, feeling our diaphragm moving upward. While doing this, we should clear our mind off every thought and direct our full attention to our diaphragm’s down-and-up movements.
The diaphragm is dome – shaped, semi –automatic muscle under our lungs, which is innervated by the parasympathetic vagus nerve, which is responsible for calming the body. When the diaphragm contracts, it moves downwards to increase the lung volume and negative atmospheric pressure in the lungs. This allows us to inhale air easily. When the diaphragm relaxes, it moves upward to exhale the air. During diaphragmatic relaxation, our aim should be to simultaneously and completely relax all our muscles - as if to feel like they are lifeless. This relaxation of the body is transmitted, via the vagus nerve into our brain and mind. In no time, emotions and tenseness in our body and mind dissipates and calmness returns. We would gain time to think and act rationally, without blowing a fuse.
If our blowups have involved other people, we should simply and with a calm voice, apologize for our actions. We should not vent and we should not create ”who is right/who is wrong” discussion.
If the diaphragmatic relaxation doesn’t work and you still feel tense, go for a long, brisk walk or jog. Your body will produce and release feel good chemicals (endorphins) to energize your body and your mind. Just don’t forget your face mask!
