CHILDREN OF OLDER PARENTS

There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother knows it. – Chinese Proverb          

I fathered my son in my early 50s. After having two daughters, I desperately needed to have a son because of my cultural upbringing. I grew up in a conservative Anatolian and Turkish culture, where having sons were more important than having daughters. To be considered a complete man, you must father a son.

So much so that girls may not be even considered a member of family. I remember, when I was practicing medicine in Turkey, I saw an elderly villager from Anatolia as a patient. I asked him, “how many children do you have?” He said, “only two.” I said, “how come, villagers usually have big families”. He said, “well doctor, I also have five daughters.”

As a doctor, I knew that with increasing age of parents, reproductive risks of having an abnormal pregnancy and abnormal child significantly increases. But I thought it only mattered for mothers, because mothers are born with all the eggs that they need for childbearing during their entire productive life span. Later, to my surprise, I learned that “advanced maternal age” is typically defined as 35 or older. In some circles, advanced maternal age is called a “geriatric pregnancy.”

Yet, men on the other hand, can continuously produce copious amount new sperm, in their 50s, 60s, 70s and father a child, even in an advanced age, with fresh sperm without any significant risk.

I didn’t know that the quality of semen decreases with age; mutations could occur in the DNA structure of sperm, that could cause many abnormalities in pregnancy as well as in the newborn child.  With aging, gestational diabetes could occur in mothers; premature birth, low birth weight, low Apgar scores, seizures, autism, congenital defects and psychiatric disorders such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, could occur in children of older parents.

Indeed, that is what happened to me.  My son was born with bipolar disorder. I regretted my decision ever since, and felt guilty for trying to have a son, in my older age.

In a recent study of 40.5 million live birth in the U.S.A revealed potentially harmful effects of advanced age for both parents in pregnancy, and increased risks of birth defects and abnormalities in babies. Abnormalities were detected in 12 percent of live births. Fathers older than 45, had a 14 percent greater chance having abnormal babies.

So, it is imperative that we encourage our sons and daughters to have their children at a younger age. Delaying starting a family for financial security or for any other reason could end up with a lifelong of guilt and regrets.